For Good Measure


December 31, 2019

A couple of weeks back was the last full moon of the decade. Round & luminous it hung in the sky, it’s magical glow lighting my path as I took a walk amid the twinkling holiday lights. It was one of those moments you wish you could preserve forever. I stopped, took a breath, and promised myself I’d never forget the quiet, calm around me, which by chance happened to be the antithesis of the day that had just played out.

I thought about the last decade. In all honesty, the past ten years haven’t been the easiest. I entered 2010 with a healthy family at a time in life where you’ve figured things out, but still have so much ahead. Milestones seem to arrive at every turn and each is exciting and new. I had recently left my “real job” and was relishing motherhood with it’s playdates, parties, and countless hours shared with my young children.

In many ways, these were the halcyon days before the storm. Within the year our business would falter, my husband would be diagnosed with Meniere’s disease, and the perfect always-sunny life I had grown accustomed to would crumble before my eyes.

Jump ahead six years, we had started a new business, my husband found treatment after unsuccessful surgeries and years of debilitation, and best of all … my children were growing and happy. We were grounded, thankful and stronger.  I was launching a novel, Mia had started middle school and my youngest first grade, and then …. diabetes arrived.

On the precipice of this new decade, 100 years after the roaring twenties, I can’t help but wonder what’s to come? I didn’t notice the moon ten years ago, I was too enamored by the glow of my own little world. But I notice it now, I’ve learned that much along the way.

I think about what I need to work on, who I’ve become, and what probably should change. Lists swirl in my head. I stop and take another deep breath.  I’m not one for resolutions — you won’t find me sitting by the fire sipping a beverage promising that tomorrow I’ll alter the patterns and characteristics that have become my life. Although at this time of the year, we feel such pressure to pledge change, don’t we? We’re encouraged to plan ahead, put the past behind, and create new versions of ourselves. In truth, the old is what makes us who we are. While we can make subtle changes to our routine through diet, exercise and hopefully mindset, at the end of the day, every year has ups & downs, every decade highs & lows. These moments, good and bad, have shaped us into the person we see when we look in the mirror.

For all the lows the last decade handed me, there was a high to match it. Life through it’s incredible journey has made me stronger, wiser, hopefully calmer, and more empathetic. So at the turn of this new year, let’s resolve to be ourselves and love our lives. For we only have one chance at it … and retouching isn’t real.

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